We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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