It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
foreskin is a definite game changer
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
So apparently I’m into choking now
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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