My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
