i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
