I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
