Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
