I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
