How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
