Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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