He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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