Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
