so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i think my cat just said my name.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
