Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
