we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
