so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
