I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
