i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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