I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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