piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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