You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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