im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
