I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
