She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
