Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
