your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
birth control should be required to get into college
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
