Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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