i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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