quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I think my fart just growled at me.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
