4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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