My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
