why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
