gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Can Purell be used as lube?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
we're so committed to being not committed
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
