Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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