i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
