He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
PANTIES FOUND
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
