What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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