operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
