His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
