people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
