cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
