And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
