just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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