He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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