rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
