I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
