you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize