Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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