its not stalking. its research.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
