Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
