we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize