I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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