the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
