im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize