Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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