is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize