their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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