I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
