I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
