Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
