yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Can you bring me the toilet please
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
