can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize