I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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