What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
