I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
