the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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