So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
