captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Farmville is her only friend.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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