yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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