Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
