I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
